Wierd Wednesday

Ahh, Thursdays.  I find myself looking forward to Thursdays now, because they’re my definitive day off.  I get to sleep as late as I can and sit around in my PJ’s until the afternoon hours.  Today it’s sort of rainy and gloomy outside here, but I like it.  It’s the perfect day to stay inside and cook some chicken, which is what I’m planning on doing later.  
     
It’s also nice that my day off comes after Wednesday, because Wednesday is my biggest day of the week.  I usually have to work 8-4:30, and then go to church to help prepare for youth until nine o’clock or so.  A busy day.  When I was at work yesterday, all I could think was, “I get to sleep in tomorrow.  I get to sleep in tomorrow.”

The last few weeks, there haven’t been that may weird customers at work.  Yesterday, I found out why: because they were all waiting to come on September 14, 2005.  Here is my list of weirdness.

1. A man lifted his shirt and scratched his flabby, white belly right in front of me.  Why?  Why do I always have to see stuff like that?  Is there no sense of personal pride in this world?

1. A man walked in who was wearing a blatant toupee.  I’m talking, his hair was two different colors here.  It really was sad.

1. An old lady farted while she was talking to me.  Twice.

1. A hearse pulled up into the parking lot behind the Samsonite store.  No foolin’.  I wonder what they were buying?

1. A big old nasty man asked me where our “adult books” were.  Ew.  This guy wasn’t asking because he was getting a gag gift for a bachelor party.  He concerned with his own “personal enjoyment.”  Branson has a city ordinance saying that no store in the city limits can sell erotica or anything else blatantly sexual in nature.  This means that we can have books about sex, but we can’t have books with photographs of people having sex in them, or books with pictures of naked people in them.  Hollister, the town that borders Branson, has no such ordinance, so people can buy whatever they want at the local sex shop there.  I suppose that I could have referred this man to Elvira’s, but I was so personally grossed out by everything about him that I kept my mouth shut.  Ew.

1. Literally, the ugliest person I have ever seen in my life.  I am not kidding.  I know that I always make fun of the customers who come into my store on this site, but this person was ugly.  And it wasn’t things that she couldn’t change, like some sort of infirmity.  I’m not into making fun of people who can’t help it.  This woman could.  She had the most sour look on her face.  It was this flat, mean look that looked like she hadn’t smiled since the seventies and her face had stuck that way.  Seeing her made me want to walk around with a smile on my face all the time, just so my face doesn’t stick that way.  (I have a little bitty mouth that sort of turns down naturally, inherited from my mother.  The look on that woman’s face could happen to me if I don’t take preventative measures now.)  On top of the sour expression, she was wearing Kewpie-esque makeup.  You know, the fake eyelashes and too much blush in the wrong place.  And oh my Lord, the shortest shorts I have seen on a person since Magnum, P.I. went off the air.  The whole effect was really quite horrifying.   This woman looked like she eats trick-or-treaters who come to her house looking for candy on Halloween.

All this happened in one day.  Everyone was nice, but it was just a lot of weirdness to happen in one day.  

Tomorrow: I discuss the CD’s that changed my life.  I made a list.  

Brianne <><