Mike

I mentioned my friend, Mike in my post yesterday. I didn’t really know what to say about him then, other than he was too young when he died, but now, after reading what Erin wrote about him on her blog and Trey’s eulogy of him, I thought I’d offer my words.

Mike was strong. I want to say that right off the bat. Even though he wasn’t a body builder-type guy, he looked like he could lift a cow if you needed him to. (Actually, if that occasion arose, he would probably go look at the cow, analyze the situation, assess whether he could really lift the cow, and then offer several ways that we could lift the cow, together.) Mike was so strong, that’s one reason why his death hit me like a brick. I mean, he dropped dead in his sleep. Out of all the people who you might think something like that would happen to, he was the absolute last person.

Besides being physically strong, though, Mike was strong in a spiritual sense. This was a man who ministered with every breath he took. He loved and served teenagers every day, especially the boys out at the workshop. Even when he wasn’t allowed to serve next to me in the youth group anymore, he was always there, walking alongside the kids he’s been torn away from. The last time I saw Mike is imprinted on my mind. I’d been running late to Wednesday night activities at church because of a work commitment and I was afraid that I was going to be late for youth. I thought, “If I’m not at dinner, the kids will all leave before youth.” So I was speeding, and worrying, and when I burst into the fellowship hall, a full 20 minutes late for dinner… Mike was there, sitting at the table with the few youth who still go to that church. I should have known. No one could keep Mike from serving those kids. That’s how strong he was. He continued to come to that church even after they slandered his name, after they had told lies about him all over town and ripped him out of youth ministry. He and Bev stand in my hall of saints, of the bravest people I know. They walked into that church with heads held high week after week, even though it was a pit of vipers.

Mike was generous. I mean, he was always giving to those in need. When my old car was breaking down all the time, he didn’t stop until I had the title to a new one in my hand. I am not joking about this. He (along with my dear friend, Barb, who deserves her own blog entry) found me an affordable new car, found me a way to pay for it, and when that didn’t work out, he found people to pay for it. (I’m pretty sure he chipped in a few of his own dollars as well.) It feels so tiny and trivial to talk about now that he’s gone, but every time I look at that car, I think of him. It was hard getting into it that first day he was gone, but now it’s a good thing. I don’t ever want to get rid of it, because it always makes me think of Mike.

Mike was a do-er. If he saw something that needed to be done, he did it. When he saw a young man in need of a father, he became that boy’s father. When he saw me in need of a car, he got it for me. When he saw a problem in our church… he was there. There was no stopping Mike when he was on course. Some people thought of that as impulsiveness, or rebellion, or pigheadedness, but I didn’t. I thought of it as him standing up for the little guy, of him not taking injustice sitting down. That was something else about Mike- he would always stand up for what was right, good, and Scriptural. He was all about the truth.

I could go on and on about what a good man Mike was, but I think you get the point. I don’t want it to seem like I’m only saying nice things about him because he’s dead, because that’s not what it’s like at all. Mike was all these things and more. What’s most important about Mike was the way he lived his life. He lived by the Word. He followed Christ with every step and with every breath. He showed God’s love to everyone, not just the people who made it easy for him or who “deserved it.” He was my father, my brother, and my friend, and I miss him horribly. I know I’ll see him again someday, and I can’t wait. So I guess there is a bright side, because as Barb said, “at least we don’t have to be worried about where he is.” I know that I’ll see Mike again, and that’s my good thought.

I haven’t blogged in so long, I almost forgot how to do it, but here goes.

So much has happened since November or whenever it was that I last updated this page. I started a new job, I started watching Heroes, (thanks, Jess!) and Veronica Mars was cancelled. I made a passel of new friends, but I royally pissed off some other friends, and I lost one forever. I’m quitting my church next Sunday. So much has changed for me since November, but I can’t say I’m entirely worse off for it.

My new job is exciting. I’m an “activities associate” at a resort here in town, which basically means that I’m a year-round camp counselor for old people. And you’d think with all the horror stories I have to tell about rude customers and rich, entitled retirees, I would hate this job. I don’t. I really like it. It helps that I work with some incredibly talented people who also like their job, that I get to use some of my gifts as a performer, and that the pay and benefits rock my face off. Mainly, it’s just nice to have a change of pace. I was getting so burned out in retail, I needed to get out before I went all emo and slit my wrists or something. (Things were not that drastic. You all know how melodramatic I am.)

New on the TV front: Jess helped me discover Heroes in January and it changed my life. I am obsessed with this little show about ordinary people with extraordinary abilities. I love character-driven stories, so this is like the epitome of shows for me: Each person’s abilities seem to be a logical manifestation of their personalities. For instance: my favorite character, Peter, is a hospice nurse at the beginning of the series. He’s got this huge heart, he’s kind and caring. He’s the type of person who you know gets dumped on all the time. His ability is that he can take on the abilities of the other heroes just by being around them. So basically, he’s taking on the burdens of the other characters, and the way he accesses them is that he thinks about how the person made him feel when he was with him. So this kind man with a caring heart accesses the powers he’s acquired by using his heart, not his head. I could analyze every character ad nauseum, but I won’t. Just watch the show, okay? The DVD comes out in August or something. It will change your life.

The way I made these new friends is really kind of mind-blowing. I was involved in The Sound of Music back in the winter, and while not everything about that experience was wonderful, it did introduce me to these people who have changed my life. They were all involved in the show as well, and we just really clicked. I don’t know when or how it happened, it just did. I remembered Danielle saying back in December or January that we probably wouldn’t see any of them again after the show was through and I thought, “No!” so I scheduled all these parties over at my house for the next month and… the rest is history. I see my new friends something like every day and they have become my new surrogate family. A couple of years ago, I had a little family like that, other people my age who didn’t have a mom and a dad right here they could lean on, so we leaned on each other. They’re all scattered all over the Midwest and the South now, but I never forgot what it was like to have that little postmodern family. Now I have it again and it looks different, but sometimes it feels similar. We can be brutally honest with each other, we fight and make up, we laugh a lot and cry some and watch movies and have sleepovers and it’s so nice to have those day-to-day friends again. I could write a whole blog about just them, but maybe that’s for another day.

The rest of my changes have been harder. I don’t really want to get into it all, but this has been a very trying time for me spiritually. The church I’ve been going to for five years is dying. It’s being destroyed from the inside out. One of the few people with the balls to fight, my dear friend Mike Stowe, died a month ago last week and I miss him horribly. I’ve lost friends before. They’ve moved away, or stopped talking to me, or graduated from college. I’d never lost someone like this before: he just died, just like that, with no warning. He was only 49 years old and he just dropped dead. I don’t understand it. I hope I will someday, but I don’t right now.

Not to be a downer. My life doesn’t really suck, it just feels that way sometimes. But you know, when I’m sitting around my house feeling sorry for myself about the hard changes in my life, I remember the good stuff that’s happened, too, and I can still say “I serve a good God.” And then I go watch Heroes. So, there, my newest blog since the winter. Maybe this will be a regular thing. Hmmm.