I think that my internet connection is having a nervous breakdown. For a few minutes it will work fine, then... total chaos. Last night I attempted to post and I wrote an entry roughly the size of the Biblical book of Philemeon and when I tried to save my draft (because I knew how fickle the internet connection can be) it said "Cannot find server" and kicked me off. Just like that. I was a little upset. It felt like I had wasted a siginficant portion of my life. And indeed, I had.

So here I am again. I'll attempt to recreate that lost post, but I'm afraid that I've slept since then so I'm not promising anything.

Yesterday I went back to work after two luxurious days off. I mean, these were the best two days off ever, no foolin'. I sat around in my jammies all day, I read books and surfed the net and watched TV. It was great. There aren't many days when I can just sit around like a lazy bum and not do anything (working two jobs and volunteering take up a lot of my time.) Anyway, I really did not want to go back to work yesterday, but I dragged myself out of bed and marched off to the bookstore like a good little worker bee. Now, don't get me wrong, I really love my job. I'm not just lying because my assistant manager Jenn might be reading this. (If I was lying, I would say that Jenn was a completely normal human being. Heh heh.) But eight o'clock in the morning after you just spent two days as a grease spot on your couch? Yeah. However, I got to work on time, opened the store... and sat there for an hour, waiting for someone to come in and buy something.

One of the best and most infuriating aspects of my job is the people. I am confident of the fact that there is something that happens to people when they come to Branson on vacation that drops their IQ a couple of points. Some of these people are brain surgeons in real life, and they come to Branson and drive like they just finished clown school. The worst thing is, most of the people who shop at the outlet malls in Branson are cheap, so they expect a discount on everything. I had a woman come up to me yesterday with a book in her hand. She showed me the book and asked "Can you take ten percent off this?" I looked at the book and there wasn't anything wrong with it that I could see, so I asked what I thought was the most obvious question. "Why?" "Oh... I understand," she said, and she walked off. I thought for sure that she was going to tell me that there were pages missing or that it was bound backwards or it was written in Arabic or something weird like that, but no. I also had a person call me three times in one hour for the book Renovation of the Heart. They didn't believe that Jenn and I had both looked to see if we had a copy, and they kept calling back to make us check again. If you know where this person can find it, give them a call.
The weirdest things happen to me when I'm working at the bookstore. I work somewhere else in Branson, too, but nothing beats the clientele at the bookstore. (I am not going to say the name of my other job because it's part of a big corporate chain that might eat me if I say anything bad about it.) Seriously. Here's a partial list.
1. A man reached into his pocket for change and pulled out his false teeth and some change. He poked around in his hand, seperated the change from the teeth, gave me the change, and put the teeth back into his pocket. I mean, these teeth weren't in a case or anything. I felt so dirty.
2. A woman flopped out her boob and started breast feeding her child while I was ringing up her books. The worst part of that ordeal was that she couldn't hold the child up to her breast and sign the credit card slip at the same time because the paper kept sliding away, so I had to hold the paper for her while she signed. I did not ask her for ID in conjunction with her presenting a credit card. It didn't seem to matter. In fact, nothing seemed to matter anymore.
3. A man scolded me for not smiling enough as I rang up his books. "I think I deserve a smile, seeing as I'm spending money here." I took his money and gave him his books and very politely said, "Have a nice day." I was completely stone-faced. I was smiling on the inside.
4. A big ol' woman in a little bitty skirt bent over and showed me her panties.
Just a partial list. I'm sure it will grow, I'm going for a top five.

Yesterday after I got off work, Danielle and I went to Springfield for our weekly Library/McAllister's run. We have a very intimate relationship with both of these places. For one thing, the Springfield Library Center is the coolest library I have ever seen. If I were a kid, that place would be my candy store. And they share books among all the different banches of the library, so you can basically get any book you want. Right now I have Don't Eat This Book by Morgan Spurlock on hold, and I can't wait to read it, for three reasons. 1) I watched Super Size Me last summer and I was so fascinated and grossed out that I will never eat at McDonald's ever again. 2) Morgan Spurlock is hilarious. I'm sure this book will be, too. 3) I have been feeling fat this summer and I need a fresh dose of gross out to convict me into eating bettter. So lay it on me, Mr. Spurlock. I'm ready.

Speaking of feeling fat brings me around to McAllister's. This is a magical place that serves soups and salads and sandwiches. That basically makes it just like Panera but oh, so much more. For one thing, they serve baked potatoes the size of your head. For another thing, their sweet tea is so good that it will be served at the wedding feast when I get to heaven. And for another another thing, they have an item on the menu called "The Big Nasty." Just that name alone makes me want to eat there.

On our way home last night I called my sister. She and my mom were just getting back from church- they have a Bible study on Wednesday. Jenny reported that my mom nearly made a scene in the middle of the sanctuary and passed the phone off to her for the full report.
My mom said that the lesson this week was about David, and the person teaching went on a tangent about David and all his wives and concubines. Momma was okay until he made the comment "David was so busy with the concubines that I don't know how he got anything done." That was where she lost it. I can imagine the scene perfectly. My mom, rocking back and forth in silent laughter, tears rolling down her face. She is where I inherited (most of) my sense of humor and hey, if you can't laugh at stuff that happens at church, what can you laugh at? My friend Travis said "fart" instead of "heart" when we were praying one time. You can be sure that I laughed about that (hard, and with abandon.)

The real reason that I called my sister was that I wanted her to listen to the clips from the Rent soundtrack that are on the show's official site. They were so good that I wanted to share them with the people that I love. When she finally went there, she was more interested in the fact that Taye Diggs is in the cast. ("I didn't know he could sing! I love him! He's hot!") But she did appreciate Adam Pascal singing "One Song, Glory" and also "Light my Candle" with Rosario Dawson. (In fact, I just went to the site to turn on the music player just now, because I couldn't talk about it without listening to it.)

Well, this post has shaped up to be just as Biblically porportioned as the one that got lost last night. I should probably sign off. I actually have things to do today- I need to pay my car insurance (gasp!) and I have praise team practice and a worship planning team meeting this afternoon. Those things are both exciting because we're planning a new worship service at our church, one with new music and new forms of teaching. But I'll talk about that later. Via con dios (or something like that,)

Brianne <><